HELLO CHEWY I CAN NEVER ANSWER THESE PROPERLY okay uhm. I think it was his demeanor overall. He has this like whole thing of being manipulative, calculating, cunning, unfazed and like? you know? the whole Fyodor vibe? It makes him seem beyond human, and it makes everyone fear him. With recent events in the manga and his ability being revealed that comes across even more.

And I mean part of why I like him is for that, but I think what I'm even more interested in is his capacity for vulnerability, for humanity. Everyone sees him as basically inhuman and I think he's internalized that himself by this point but, like! He's not. inhuman, I mean. No matter how good he is at dismissing his own feelings for his goal, he is still human, he still has them.

it's also why I kind of like one sided fyozai. his lowkey obsession with dazai is sooooo. entertaining. to me. like "I guess I felt a little less bored when playing chess with dazai but that's it" "even dazai was not fit to be my other half" HE NEEDS TO STOPPPP. He wants the connection so bad but when he doesn't get it he acts as if he's unbothered but I'm betting it stings! at least a little bit!

It's so tragic because I really don't think dazai would like Fyodor at all but. Fyodor wants someone who will understand him. Who thinks like him. And he sees that in Dazai and Dazai also recognizes that they're similar and even expresses interest in this but ultimately Dazai doesn't want someone similar to him. I think he's more interested in people who are different from him. But Fyodor wants someone to connect with SO BAD BUT DAZAI LOWKEY DOESNT LIKE HIM THAT MUCH KILL MEEEEE

And anyway. TLDR I fell in love with him because he's actually a pathetic loser shh I never told you... I mean his actions are genuinely horrible and vile don't think I'm woobifying him. he's still a loser though. my favorite thing about him is everything ok guys I like him so much sorry I YAPPED