It’s okay to ask, but it’ll be a bit difficult for me to put my thoughts into words until I actually start researching it.

For now, the simple version is :

Patterned 〜 Due to being [unknowingly/knowingly] abused, a victim may go on to internalize their abuser’s behavior and repeat it habitually. Or, they may develop abusive behavior [Guilt tripping, suicide baiting] as a result of compromised emotional wellbeing after being abused. The main aspect is that they do not hurt others out of conscious thought — simply because it may all they know.

Pathological 〜 There is an intent to hurt others through their actions, typically for the sake of pleasure or to keep themselves in power. This may also be learned, but it’s typically much harder for a pathological abuser to want to change, even if their behavior becomes self-harming as they become lonely and feign relationships solely for the sake of their ego, rather than a desire for human connection.

It's been a while but I made a new BearBlog post ~ Here. I want to announce it to keep my analytics up ... Joking! I can only hope people care enough to actually check my diary.

See, I'm quite the imprudent and arrogant woman : I sincerely believe everyone holds a modicum of curiosity & sweet desire to get to know more of this inner soul of mine. Now, to be even more arrogant : If you ever have any thoughts regarding any of my entries, feel free ro discuss them with me! In this inbox, in my DMs, on tetratto ... I want to hear the humming symphonies of synapses crackling with thoughts about my thoughts ... = You are thinking of me! How sweet of you, random internet surfer!

I don't know about guilty pleasure, but I must resort to watching Saki K. in secret because anytime anyone in the house sees it on, they go "How many times have you watched that?"
I once wrote a Saki K. fic where I used some lines directly from the show (As it was set during those episodes) but didn't check for accuracy; When I re-watched, I realized I got them all accurate to the English dub! Hehe ...

Uhm ... Seriously, what does "guilty pleasure" even mean? It's hard for me to say I feel shame while indulging in interests because I generally stay away from things I don't approve of ... Unless it's embarrassing, in this context? In which case, I'm open about anyway. I guess I couldn't watch Miraculous for a long time due to second-hand embarrassment and the animation styling making me feel weirdly dirty(?) ...

I'd like to start my family. I have no dreams of home ownership, so I hope my apartment complex's manager is kind to me. I'd like to gain a small profit off of sewing; So many ideas for clothing, yet so little skill so far.

I'd like to write journals every year to give to my children on their 18th birthdays, and fill up many photo albums.

I'd like to be an accomplished psychologist and for my work to make some dents in the field -- particularly my research on patterned abuse vs. pathological abuse. I think it'll allow those suffering to be able to forgive, yet not forget, better. As well as help those at risk of becoming patterned abusers to stop their cycles and circular thinking.

I'd like to be able to buy my mother a home, as well as financially support my friends in little ways.